Are you flirting with me?

....Because I can't tell.


So I work with this kid. We're close in age and have some similar interests. Mets. Good beer. Live music. Nothing too specific.

We're acquaintances, that's about it. We've gone out for drinks together once or twice, always with other people, but that's all. Once in a blue moon he will drunk text me. (Drunk texting, gotta love it. The new generation’s version of drunk dialing which was a modified version of our parent's traditions of drunk-throwing-rocks-at-bedroom-windows excursions.) Here are some of the texts I have gotten recently:

"You could have come, but you hate me for some reason."
"Are you drinking alone? Because I'll join you if you want."
"Wow, I'm drunk. Wanna hang out?"

Are you flirting with me?! I don't even know. 20-Something single New York woman and I can't even tell if someone is flirting with me or not. Which I suppose explains why I am not very good at the dating game.

Notice how I called it "the game" because that's all it is. A game. And I seem to never win. Which I guess really isn't that bad, because I don't fancy myself a good player anyway. Though, I do play fair and I never cheat.

The Rules:

• To keep it fair this game should be played with two players.
• Player 1: Flirts with Player 2. This can be done a number of ways; A smile, an offer of a drink, a "hello" or a pick-up line. [Note: The use of a pick-up line earns less points resulting in Player 2's advancing in the game or Player 2's automatic win, unless Player 1's pick-up line is absolutely hilarious.]
• For Player 1 to ask Player 2 for his/her phone number they must first gain enough points to do so using their first move. [First move explained above.]
• A series of (sometimes) tricky moves with then take place between Player 1 and Player 2. They can often be referred to as "phone calls", "e-mails", "dates", and "texts" in which case Player 1 and Player 2 have equal opportunities to gain as many points as they can.
• Finally, The game is either won when either Player 1 and Player 2 agree to continue without the game or when either Player 1, Player 2 or both players agree to forfeit and start a new game with new player(s).

I don't often get past the first step. I will admit that. Mostly, this is because I can't really tell if people are flirting with me. And even if I have a tiny idea that they might be flirting with me, I blow it off and assume that's just the type of person they are, flirting with everyone, or that they're just being nice.

And then the dating thing. Well, I think we've been through this, but in case we haven't, I'll explain it again. Most guys don't like to date a girl like me. In the beginning it's fun because they realize that a date with me does not have to be torturous. I will not force them to go to the ballet, an opera, a fancy (EXPENSIVE) restaurant, etc. I will want to do things that most men want to do, not because I want to be nice, because I want to do them too. A pub, a baseball game, fishing, etc.

Pubs and baseball games and other things like that can be expensive. And I will always try to pay my way or take turns. Some guys don't allow this, I understand, it bruises the ego, etc. But I think it's only fair, so I will my best play it that way. And I will be sincere about it. But ultimately, the men realize that I am not the woman for them. That I make a far more realistic friend than girlfriend. I suppose this should hurt my feelings, but it never does. Maybe I just haven't yet met a man who meant a lot to me that I felt I needed more than friendship? Regardless, this is where myself and Player 2 become great friends. Not a bad thing. Until Player 2 meets a new Player 1 and she meets me. And hates me. [I'm used to it at this point.]

I think I'm going to designate this weekend to "Flirt & Fling" and see what happens. I think I need some practice in the area of flirting (I may be getting rusty) and some practice in recognizing it when its thrown in my direction. I am trusting in my friends to judge fairly and accordingly.

Wish me luck.