Yea... I'm THAT asshole.

I had my bag stolen two weeks ago right off my lap. [Note to self: No matter how drunk you are, Stay awake on the F train. Fucktard.]

Bag contents: One (1) Expired New York Driver's License (My only form of photo identification), One (1) LG enV in Orange w/ approximately 500 (important) work contacts and/or e-mails, One (1) Sony CyberShot Digital Camera in Silver, Two (2) Bank Debit Cards w/ Master Card Logos, One (1) American Express Gold Card, One (1) Platinum Visa Card, and almost $100.00 in cash.

Phone call to the MTA police went a little something like this: "Hi, yes, I had my bag stolen on the subway."
"Ok. What was it it, ma'am?"
I read the woman the contents of my bag.
"Alright, ma'am. We'll search the database and call you back if we find anything that matches what you describe."
"Thank you."
"Thanks for calling MTA and good luck."

It's never a good sign when they end the call with "good luck".

Needless to say, they never found anything. And they never will. This much I know. And normally, I don't care about losing my things. (Most likely because I lose things all the time.) But having to start all over, is a giant pain in the ass.

I attempted to get a new I.D. only to learn that since my license has been expired for so long, I would have to go down to the DMV and apply for a new one, and ultimately have to take a new test. I live in New York. There's no need to drive. Or spend the day at the DMV for that matter.

So I opted to get a passport instead. Which works out alright, since I will need one in the next year anyway. (Got a trip planned to go to India for a friend's wedding, a trip to Thailand to backpack throughout, just for the hell of it.)

Without a photo I.D. to prove that I am who I say I am, all that's required is a certified birth certificate (which I applied for in the mail, with a written letter with almost no real information on it) and a social security card (which I applied for the same way). I need to bring with me someone who claims they have known me for at least two years and they need to bring a photo I.D. of their own.

Is anyone else alarmed that anyone knowing my date of birth and my parents' names can get a copy of my birth certificate? Or my social security card? And that I can bring a bum who has known me 30 seconds to get my passport?

Scary.

And here I thought we were taking extra precautions to prevent any kind of terrorism in the wake of 9/11.

Interesting...