Finding my place.

Been looking for that spot. You know, where I fit in this universe.

It's funny, I never really gave it much thought before. But lately, I can't seem to get it out of my head.

Am I destined to be who and where I am today? Working two/three/four jobs? Living in a great place... alone. Dreaming of fantastic adventures in various different countries, but settling for weekend trips to Atlanta, Boston, and Baltimore? Writing, writing, writing, and getting nothing published?

Where do I go? The "average" category? The ones who just get by and unless you know them personally, you hardly even notice them. Walk right past them everyday without realizing they're the ones who actually make the world go 'round.

The "successful" ones? Do I get my book(s) published? Make tons of money and quit my job and enjoy the free lifestyle of a writer. Drift from place to place connecting with people along with the way, but never actually connecting with people.

The "nobody"? I quit my job so I can focus on my writing and my painting full-time. Really put the effort in. Try to make it all happen. Just to end up a starving artist. That person whose friends constantly brag about. "She's really got it! The talent that girl has is amazing." Too bad their opinions are biased and I would never really make it anywhere anyway. Because who can these days?

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So the universe is calling. She's knocking on my door and she demands to know where I want to be next year, in five years, in 30 years, for the rest of my days.

And I tell her that I've never really known where I've wanted to be. Because life's too short to be in one place/be one person forever. I need to know things. Learn things. Accept things. Try to change things. Effect things/people in some way, shape or form. I have to be ever-changing. Because this world, and the universe are ever-changing.

And besides all that... I wouldn't have it any other way.

But I did ask the universe one small favor, perhaps a bit on the selfish side. No matter what the result of things to come for the next three weeks, just please them all work out for the best. Meaning, let everything turn out the way it's supposed to be, not the way I want it to be at the exact moment in time.

Because this time tomorrow, I will already be a different person than I am right now. And by then, I may want different things.

Maybe.