Whoops!

So it's Saturday night and I'm out for a drink with some friends. Trying to maintain somewhat of a social life on Long Island isn't easy. Especially since the only people that are here are the ones I went to high school with. (Thankfully, there are a few I don't mind seeing/hanging with.)

We headed to the local pub because it's cheap, close to home, we LOVE the bartender, and Saturday night karaoke is always good for a laugh.

Stepping out for a smoke Bebe and I get approached. "Can I bum a smoke offa one uh you pretty ladies?" Without thinking much of it, I open my pack, pass one over to him and then continue with my conversation with Bebe. Until we get interrupted again.

"You look familiar." He says to Bebe. Turns out they went to high school together. Well, we all went to the same high school actually, but Bebe and (we'll call him) Dave are about 8 years older than me. We all introduce ourselves, his friends wander over and introduce themselves also.

About two minutes into the group conversation (mostly Dave, his friends and Bebe catching up on people from high school while I sit there quietly) Dave is so drunk that he's practically falling into me. "You're pretty. Can I get your cell phone number?"

I have to laugh at this point. This kid doesn't know me from a whole in the wall! "Yea... I don't know if that's really a good idea."

"Come on! I'm a good guy. Bebe will tell you, she knows me." Dave pleads.
"I don't know you! I haven't seen you in ten years."
I'm laughing so hard now, I'm seconds away from peeing my pants. "Well, you have to appreciate her honesty!" I say as I flick my cigarette into the parking lot and make my way back inside.

Moments later a HORRENDOUS choice of karaoke song is chosen. The Grease Montage. But after about 9 shots of I don't know what (Kay-the bartender-makes great shots but never tells me what's in them) and more beers than I can count, Marc and I decide that dancing to this song is a GREAT idea. I then notice, while Marc and I are out on the dance floor, Bebe and Red (yes, her name is Red) are cornered by Dave and a friend of his.

Upon my (angry) return to the table, Dave and his friend leave without saying a word. "What the fuck was that all about?!" I'm not sure why, but I was REALLY annoyed that he had cornered them.

"That kid's a mess. He asked me what he needed to do to get you to give him your number."
"What did you say?"
"I told him that if he still needed help getting girls' phone numbers at hisage, than he was even more pathetic than I can remember." While what Bebe said may've been really harsh, you have to admit, it was kind of funny.

I felt a little bad for the guy, so I made Kay send a beer and a shot of Patron his way. Dave winked at me from across the bar, and that was the end of that.

We're all laughing and having a great time and the entertainment was to die for. Then, next thing I know, the bar goes silent.

"You are.... so beautiful..... to me....... CAN'T YOU SEE!!!!" Some dude actually chose that for a karaoke song?! I couldn't believe it. And this is the last thing I want to hear on a Saturday night. So, what do I do? The asshole that I am? I 'boo' this guy. Only, it sparked a wave of 'boos' coming from the far end of the bar. Now, almost the entire bar is 'booing' this poor guy. But he doesn't stop.

He finishes out the song and when it's over, he gets down on one knee and says (into the mic), "Stacy, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?"

...Wow. I kinda feel bad now. What a dick I am!

Whoops!



P.S. She said 'no'. Ouch.