IT LIVES!

I haven't posted anything since June.
I should be disappointed in myself.
...And I am.
Trust me.

Let's start off by saying that things have changed quite a bit. I took a small hiatus and hit the road for a while. I wrote some great new material until my fingers hurt. (I also wrote plenty of terrible material, but that kind of comes with the territory.) I took pictures of anything and everything and people I don't even know. I've welcomed some new family members and become a member of some other families along the way. Curve balls have been thrown my way. Some were hit, some were not, but still none out of the park. (Not yet anyway.)

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I feel there is so much to tell right now, and not nearly enough time.
I promise to be back!

Starting New.

Sitting on my couch, wondering what happens next.

I traveled all around the country stopping at some of my favorite places and making a point to visit cities that have been on my list for as long as I can remember.

Colorado Springs, San Diego, Seattle, Austin, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Albany, Boston, and Chicago.

Why the hell did I come back to New York again? I can't quite remember. With nothing here waiting for me, New York is feeling more empty than it did when I left. No steady job (still just doing paintings when I can and I want), no lease on my apartment (got the month-to-month), no boyfriend (though I did try this time), and no school. The only thing I got going for me here is the fam.

But now that I've seen other places, I'm itching to see more. More cities, more places no one in New York has ever heard of, more people I would never have the chance to meet here, and more countries. That's for damn sure.


So I have a few opportunities that are ahead of me. Some offers in places that do not involve here. Some chances to start fresh on all new turf. And I think I might just jump on one... Or two.

Will disclose such location(s) when I know which I will take.
Here's to starting over. And loving every second of it.
Cheers!

HOWDY!

Hey there, kiddies.

Just got back from an interesting "vacation". (Been traveling like mad ever since I officially got laid off from my job. Or should I say, the company went out of business.)

Sorry for the slight disappearance. Will report soon. Have MUCH to tell.

Hope all is well.
;)

Readers Digest Version.

So, Long story short: I slept with one of my brother's friends. Twice. Over the past three weeks. I'm only freaking out about it because I know that of all of my brother's single friends (and there aren't many) I know, should my brother ever catch wind of it, he would be most pissed about this particular friend.

Both were drunken hook ups, and while I would never do it again, I would totally do it again. Good god. Something about a cocky guy whose too smart/funny/hot for his own good just makes me melt. But only when drinking. Ha!

No big deal. After round one Jim made me promise I wasn't going to get all weird and clingy and that I wasn't going to tell anyone. Hello! Why would I tell anyone? (Other than my only two good friends who are not related to me in any way. Whom were both excited and jealous and wanted every possible detail. I'm not normall the type to kiss and tell, but this time I just had to. It was too good to be true.) I explained to him that should word get out of our little drinking/sleeping adventure, my head would be mounted on the wall, not his. I also tried to clarify that I am not, nor have I ever been, the type of girl to get "clingy" or "weird" about a guy for any reason whatsoever. He seemed relieved, and then I kicked him out. (I can be such a guy about certain things, I know.)

About a week goes by and we're forced to hang with a large circle of friends for my brother's birthday celebration. Being the only two single people there out of about 26 people, we dined next to one another, accompanied each other on cigarette breaks, and did shots at the bar side by side. Nothing was weird and nothing was mentioned. Which is exactly the way I like it.

Not really sure how it happened, but we managed to sleep together again that night. Yikes. Only this time, before kicking him out, I told him that as fun as it was (and trust me, it was) it could no longer continue. The more times we'd share a bed, the more of a chance we had of getting caught. And I wasn't really into getting caught.

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A week later, a few friends and I make it to a small local bar for happy hour on a Thursday evening where I bump into another friend of both mine, my brother's, and Jim's. No big deal. We exchange hellos, I assume he knows nothing, and I carry on at the other side of the bar where my friends await.

Halfway throughout the night, I am introduced to a rather good looking friend of my friend's boyfriend named Tom. (The connection is not important, so if you can't follow, don't feel so bad.) We bullshit, share a cigarette and argue over who makes the best Winter Lager. (He says Sam Adams where I have to admit, I was a little turned off. Everyone knows Brooklyn makes the best Winter!!) At about 3am we decide maybe we should be responsible adults and go home since we all have work in a few hours.

In the door at about 3:30am and I have a text message from a number I don't recognize.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to the pub tonight?"

Drunken Sarcastic Response: "Because I don't know who you are."

"It's Jim."

How the FUCK did he get my number? I never gave it to him! On purpose!!

I didn't answer when he told me who it was.

Two minutes later...

"I heard you were hanging all over some guy tonight."

Drunken Angry Response: "What'd you just get your period?"

"Whose the guy?"

"Don't worry about it. G'Night!!!" And I shut my phone off.

First of all... I wasn't hanging all over anybody. And even if I was it's nobody's business but my own. And for Jim to make such a big deal about it after he practically made me pinkie swear I wouldn't get clingy was a bit odd to me. So odd in fact, I had to reread the text conversation in the morning because I couldn't remember if it was as bad as Drunk Dean thought it was the night before.

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Two days later, we make an appearance at the same bar with the same group of friends intentionally to see a local band we love and for me and Tom to get to know each other a bit better.

And Jim's there.

....To be continued.

Ouch!

DC went snowboarding this past weekend. Good times were had, as expected. Three out of four days were spent snowboarding in the beautiful mountains of Vermont, freezing our asses off. The remaining day was spent playing ice hockey with a bunch of guys we met in the lodge on our first night there.

This is where I learned that not only do I not know how to ice skate very well, but that getting slammed on the ice will make every joint/muscle in your entire body hurt. And bruises will appear in places that might make an outside party wonder what really went on during this little trip we had.

[Yes, I'm the idiot who wears a vest instead of a full jacket when snowboarding in -20º weather. But before you all call my crazy, in my defense, I would like to note that when snowboarding, you use every muscle in your body. Muscles you didn't know you had. And when you're as out of shape as I am, you get real hot real fast. So a vest is always a good idea for snowboarders like me. AKA, chain smokers who don't exercise regularly anymore.]

I got my ass handed to me this weekend. It wasn't pretty. But it was a blast either way. After a quick Doctor's visit this morning it was determined: DC dislocated and broke her right wrist. Again. For a grand total of three times in her life thus far. Yikes. And I got that "I told you so!" when the Doc explained to me that since I broke it last year (snowboarding, ha!) and I refused to have it casted (6-8 weeks!!!) that it would not heal correctly and be much more fragile than the average 20-something's wrists, and I ran the risk of breaking it again.

Ask me if I got a cast put on it this time around.

Nope.

Ask me if I'm going to stop snowboarding.

Nope. (Though at the rate I'm going, I probably should.)

Ahhh... Thick Mick at her finest.

[Note: the picture shown above is an exact reaction to inspecting the damage of the cracked and dislocated wrist. Notice the smile? Yea... I'm a sick bastard.]

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After getting tossed and tumbled all day long on the slopes, our evenings were spent in quite possibly the sickest log cabin known to man. Woke up every morning in the loft with floor to ceiling, two story high windows overlooking the mountains. Drank my hot tea and read the newspaper/checked some blogs I make a point to read daily, and responded to work e-mails. Evenings were either spent at the lodge getting hammered and listening to a few local rock cover bands with some cool mountain folk or getting hammered at the cabin in the hot tub with some of my closest friends.

I've come to realize that my friends who seem like normal adults, will always be high school/frat boys when consuming mass amounts of liquor in a short amount of time, away from home, in a hot tub.

...Did I mention that I was the only girl on this snowboarding trip? Yea. Eight of my best guy friends and little 'ole me in a hot tub. It was interesting, that's for sure.

Without naming names, I got two of my straightest guy friends to kiss. No tongue, but open mouth for sure. Was trying to put an old rumor to rest that girls are turned on by two guys kissing. I explained that I needed to witness such an event up close and personal. I don't know how I did it, but I did. [The powers of persuasion are strong with this one.]

Like the twelve year olds at heart we all are- a game of truth or dare was initiated. Most of my friends were not only twelve about it, but twelve year old girls.

DC: "Ben, Truth or Dare?"

Ben: "Truth."

Are you kidding me? I was forced to get to know the inner-boy of all of my friends this weekend. I think after the male/male make-out session, all the guys were afraid to see what I would come up with for dares.

Oh well. It was good time all around.

Let's just say I got to know a few of the guys a little too well though. And when I say "little", believe me, the PUN was intended.

;)

[And, no. I did not sleep/make-out with any of them. Because I know all you pervs were wondering about it.]

(((P.S. I'm not sure why, but I was unable to get today's post to space itself properly. So I'm sure it looks jumbled and crowded. I apologize.))

Being the bigger person.

Original plans of attending Times Square tonight were squashed when I learned that with the snow, heavy winds, and low temperatures it would actually feel about ZERO DEGREES out tonight. So I opted for option number two.

House party at a friend's. Local. Which is sometimes nice. No worries about transportation, etc. Semi-nice attire, champagne bottles popping at midnight, free beer, watching the ball drop in a warm cozy house on a giant projector and screen. I'm all over it.

The only problem with scenario number two? An old fling will be there. Normally I wouldn't give a damn, but here's a breakdown of the situation:

Xiv and I have known each other forever. I mean forever. He is a few years older than me, grew up around the corner and played hockey with my brother when were kids. But we lost touch in our teenage years since we attended different high schools. A few years after that, when the loser Ex and I finally split, I heard rumors that Xiv was pumped about it. I was confused, I hadn't really seen the kid in years (other than the occasional bump-into at random bars and whathaveyou).

[Note: He works with a very good friend of mine, Joe.]

Joe confronts me at Monday night poker. "Xiv thinks you're adorable and really wants to take you out one night. He wanted me to see if this is something you might be interested in." I agreed. Though, I'm not really sure why. I thought it might be weird because we were friends when we were kids and he was friends with my brother also.

But we went. We had an alright time, nothing fantastic. Then we hung out another night, casually, at my place just kicking a few beers back and catching up, bullshitting, you know the routine. Then we started talking about our "date" that we had. We both decided that we were much better as friends, that the date felt a bit... awkward.

Awesome. I was really into it. We had a lot of fun together, but I just didn't get that feeling, ya know?

About a year goes by, and we're practically best friends. He calls me when he's had a fight with his girlfriend and I call him after a bad date. Tuesday officially became drinking day. Every Tuesday we got together and drank at my house. He came over and got shitfaced when he and his girlfriend split and he took me out to get hammered on my birthday. (The only one of my friends who wouldn't let me pay for my own drinks.) Life was great. I was really enjoying our friendship. It was unique and just what we both needed, wanted and loved.

...Or maybe it was all one sided and I never realized?

He came to Bonnaroo with me and another friend. We meet these kids as soon as we get there and wound up hanging out with them the entire trip. Sharing food, beer, tents, toothpaste; you name it.

Well, the first night we're there, I got drunk and stupidly slept with one of the kids. (Whoops.) And that was it. That was ultimately the end of mine and Xiv's perfect friendship. I got the cold shoulder from him the rest of the trip and haven't really spoken to him since.

He'll never come out and say it, but I know that's why he hates me today. When we got home, a few Tuesdays passed where I never saw or heard from Xiv. He never called, he always just came by. But all that stopped. I would call... no answer. Text... nothing. I was heartbroken. I missed my friend.

Joe and I went out for drinks with a bunch of friends a few months after Bonnaroo. Joe gets drunk and lays right into me. "What you did to my buddy, Xiv wasn't right!"

Huh? What the fuck did I do? I don't get it. We were great friends. And even if he didn't feel the same way I never knew that. And it's not my fault. Or my problem! He can have a girlfriend the whole time we're friends and I can't sleep with some random dude? What the fuck?

[[And I thought girls were annoying about shit like that.]]

Anyway, still no word from him today. But I do know that he's dating a girl we went to school with when were younger. She and I never got along. She and I got into a fist fight in junior high and another one in high school. This broad will just never let shit die. She's a tad too scrappy for my taste.

[Note: I didn't start either of those fights. I didn't lose either of those fights either.]

Anywho... they'll both be there tonight. And all I can hope for is that they both just be adults about the whole thing and don't do anything stupid. Because it's MY friend's house and I won't tolerate any bullshit.

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Actually... Why do I even care?
I'm going to have the hottest date there. And to boot, he's fucking awesome.









I win. ;)

Invisible Man Part II

You sang sad songs in my ear
And wondered why I didn't smile.
Thinking that sad songs
Were the way to my heart.

You poked fun at my art
And wondered why I wasn't laughing.
Thinking that mocking me
Wouldn't tear us apart.

You tell me we're friends
But tell your friends different.
Saying that you can't live without me
I say "ditto"
And then you doubt me.

As if to mimic Houdini
You disappear without a trace.

Your pessimism and negative energy
Have left my world
Leaving nothing but sunshine and rainbows in their absence.
Making stress dissipate
And yet you didn't say a word.

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And now it's Christmas
And somehow... I miss us.